Me and SAM's relationship has reached the breaking point in an extremely unfortunate turn of events and for the past two weeks my mind has just been whirling and emotional and crazy.
I don't know definitively what's going to happen, but I know how badly I'm going to miss this love. I would go into all the things that I'm going to miss but this blog essentially tells that story. Every post highlights all the things he has taught me and the happiness that he has brought me in the last couple of months. It also shows the hurt and hardship that we go through and ... sometimes the bad outweighs the good. If there were an opportunity to have him next to me I would take it. If I could just hug him and feel comforted one more time before giving it all up to be alone again.... I would take it. But that's not an option for us and...there is nothing that can be done about it right now.
I wish I could really explain what it feels like to be at this state of confusion and not know whether you're coming or going. It's heartbreaking. It feels like I just.... am helpless. Even now as this struggle continues, I can't even find an opportunity to get him on the phone, at least hear his voice and talk about things. Hope I don't make anyone sad with this one but.... I just didn't know how else to get it out. There's nothing left to say except that my heart is broken and I don't know what to do about it.
So I wanted to put white candle by Tamar Braxton but I couldn't find it so K. Michelle for kicks and giggles. Lighten the mood in here ;)
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